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Barring any grand comebacks from the West Coast contingent of this year’s baseball playoffs, it appears the apocalypse is upon us: Phillies vs. Yankees World Series match up.

That said here’s fair warning for any casual barfly who happens upon a collection of drunks from either side on game night: keep your distance when carousing and keep your head down when passing.

Despite the vast, vast differences between the two franchises — one has 27 titles, the other 10,000 losses — their fan bases are surprisingly similar, and when judging in poorly guided stereotypes, entirely scary.

Firstly, a very high majority of them are assholes. Philly fans get pegged with that rep more often, and many times deservingly so, but ask anyone who’s sat in the bleachers at Yankee Stadium or has visited New York City or even a Catholic church well attended by Italian-Americans, and they’ll tell you Yankees fans are an insufferable, entitled lot.

Secondly, many core fans of both teams share the same traits: male, girthly, poorly mustachioed. The Yankees set may be better dressed, but it’s less about their personal style than that of the classic appeal of Yankees apparel. Plus, many Phillies fans still have an affinity for Zubazz pants and Starter coats. Go figure.

Thirdly, did I mention they’re all assholes? Each team’s male minions are fueled with testosterone when attending a game live at their respective stadiums, only to be emboldened by like company. There’s endless clips of these fans fighting on YouTube, another reason why the Internet wins. But it’s not limited to man-on-man fisticuffs. The ladies from both sides can get rowdy. Do yourself a favor and look up a clip or five.

As for this asshole? I’m a Phillies fan and have been since birth. I went as Mike Schmidt for Halloween, twice, and can still locate within minutes a commemorative T-shirt from the season he hit his 500th home run. I was also part of a trio of drunken assholes who managed to single-handedly clear out a section of the notorious 700-level during a Mets-Phillies game at the Vet. Sure, it was a day game, the game sucked and the section was probably one-third full, but we definitely lived up to the horrible reputation Philly fans have been bestowed, for better or worse.

So, point being, if you don’t have to go to a bar with a TV and idiot baseball loons drinking heavily and arguing in tongues, stay home.


Speaking of assholes

The above behavior isn’t limited to Phillies and Yankees fans, because these beasts, too, cheer for football. Want to join them?

Rock 107 has a pair of tickets for the Nov. 1 game between the Philadelphia Eagles and the New York Giants at Lincoln Financial Field in Philadelphia. All you have to do to get a chance to win is sign up to become a Rock 107 Freeloader at rock107.com.

The lucky winner will get a round-trip ride on a video bus, tickets to the game and a deluxe tailgate from JZ Tours in Scranton. The winner will be picked at random at noon Thursday, Oct. 29, so don’t waste time in signing up.

And if you win, let’s hope you wear green and not blue to the game, lest you come home blood red.
-escicchitano@timesshamrock.com